Here are reasons that I will never get a chance to play in 
professional sports...

     1.  Basketball--Too short & can't jump!
     2.  Baseball/Softball--Too weak!
     3.  Football--"Son, you'll get run-over if you go out on the field!"
     4.  Volleyball--Can't jump!
     5.  Soccer--Too slow!
     6.  Track & Field--Too slow!
     7.  Swimming--Too slow (shark)!
     8.  Tennis--Can't hit (forehand or backhand)!
     9.  Racquetball--Bad shoulders!
    10.  Hockey--I want to keep my own teeth!
    11.  Golf--"Yawn!" 
    12.  Gymnastics--It hurts just to think about it!
    13.  Wrestling--Too skinny!
    14.  Weight Lifting--"I am not a Pocket Hercules!"
    15.  Boxing--"I am a lover, not a fighter!"
    16.  Auto Racing--I never drive above the speed limit!
    17.  Skiing--I don't want to be a human snow ball, "Look out below!!!"
    18.  Ultimate Frisbee--Yeah right.  Give me a break!
    19.  Cycling--There is something about people in tight shorts!  Hmm...
    20.  Marathon--"Are we there yet?  I've got to go to the bathroom!"
    21.  Triathlon--"I am NOT running around in my Speedo! No way, Jose..."
 
     On top of those things, I have a bad knee and a bad ankle!  
     Oh well, that's life...