Introduction

The kind and friendly gentleman whose life history who I have studied, and whom I refer to as Mr. "C" for this paper, is a 64-year old white man from Asheville, North Carolina. Mr. C's profession brought him to Jacksonville where he has lived more than 30 years with his wife who, sadly died ten months ago. He is in very good health, gentle in nature, and is a strong believer in the Catholic faith. As Mr. C presented the stories of his life to me, an unmistakable theme emerged that is clearly recognizable throughout this narrative. That theme is pure and powerful. That theme is LOVE in triplet: love for the fellow humans, love of God, and love of life. The pieces of Mr. C's life experience are melded into larger mechanisms that can be analyzed and theorized to form a loosely woven whole of one individual's adaptation to aging. A formidable task for an inexperienced weaver; however, the following theoretical applications and apprentice analyses relative to some of Mr. C's life roles and events. The major roles are those of husbands, friend, labor force participant, and widowed person; and the life events are death of a spouse, retirement, and finding God.

Presentation and Analysis

Marriage in Later Life

On the issue of marriage in later life, Atchley (1997) states that most older people are married and living with their spouses in independent households, and that the couple has been married since early adulthood (p. 186). Mr. and Mrs. C fit this description in that they were married as young adults and 35 years later remained married and lived in an independent household, until Mrs. C died. One interesting aspect of their marriage that is an exception to the majority is the concept of marital satisfaction and what happens to it over the life span. According to a various studies cited in our textbook, a consistent picture emerges of high marital satisfaction in early adulthood, a gradual decline in satisfaction through middle age, and a steady increase in marital satisfaction beyond middle age (Atchley, 1997, p. 188). The U-shaped pattern does not apply in the case of Mr. and Mrs. C's marriage due to the lack of the two key factors affecting marital satisfaction. First, the Cs were childless, therefore the stress related to child rearing the life changes associated with child launching were absent since Mr. C was not retired from the labor force during the course of marriage.

Mr. C told me that the marital quality of his later life was high, as Atchley (1997) claims in common; however, he made it clear to me that marital satisfaction was high throughout their 35 years together. Their marital happiness began as early and steadily increased. Mr. C. expressed to me in the passionate tones that marriage brought much more to his life than he had expected. He had expected an average relationship, but what he got was a far above average relationship. In his words, it was "the ultimate." He explained that his relationship grew over 35 years, based on love and spiritual faith. Mr. C credits Mrs. C with "teaching me how to be a man and how to live life." In addition, he told me that the key to a successful marriage is mutual trust.

Socially Disruptive Events Theory--Loss of Spouse

In research carried out by Arnold Brown (1991) it was discovered that disengagement is related to a number of different events, especially the loss of a spouse, that tend to be severely disruptive of elderly peoples' lives. Brown found that the experience of this event typically results in disengagement that is severe immediately following the loss but then eventually the disengagement tends to reverse. This discovery holds true in Mr.C's case. He shared with me that during the first six months following Mrs. C's death he had effectively isolated himself from the things he cared about the most: people. His crippling grief and sense of incredible loss were slightly relieved by his faith in God and by the counseling he received from his priest. Gradually, Mr. C began to reclaim his station in life. He told me, "God won't give you any more than you can handle, and He will give you the help you need." Mr. C soon realized that, "it was time I started having fun again." This is how I came to meet him. As a part of his resolve to have fun he bought a season ticket to the Jaguar games which landed him in the seat next to mine in August of this year, about the same time I began this course, Sociology of Aging.

Mr. C on interaction with people; therefore, it did not surprise me to learn that his "disengagement period" was short. Brown's type of disengagement stems from the disruptive events in a life and can be, with difficulty, fully recovered from, as it appears to happen with Mr. C. The reason for his rapid recovery and his re-entry into a fulfilling life may be understood by applying some concepts within the continuity theory of aging, in particular, continuity related to career and personal life philosophy of truth, trust, and love for fellow humans.

Continuity Theory Applied to Mr. C's Career

A continuing life experience and self-perception helps to explain the extent to which successful adjustment in Mr. C's individual aging experience, and in particular, part of his adaptation to being widowed (Brown, year unknown, p.90)(Atchley, 1997, p. 171). His personality and lifelong commitment to, and enjoyment of, his work influenced, and continues to influence, his aging process. Mr. C's attitude toward work began in childhood and was heavily influenced by his family life on the farm. He told me that he was raised by poor, hard-working parents, and his father was always busy, always working. Two of Mr. C's cores were to feed the pigs and milk the cows after school, and he recalled one day when he arrived home from an after school activity it was dark so he assumed he would be excused from his usual chores that day. His father made him understand otherwise by saying "Pigs will eat just as much in the dark, son." Since Mr. C clearly remembers those words, I hypothesize that his lifetime work ethic was solidly founded that night by a stern, stable parent and several farm animals.

As a young adult Mr. C began working at a local supermarket, and with the exception of three years obligatory service in the army, has worked in the grocery business his entire life ( an excellent example of career continuity). He is now a traveling consultant and retail counselor for a small chain, mainly family-owned, grocery markets. Mr. C shared with me that work plays a very important role in his life. Work has always been meaningful to him because he enjoys it, and that enjoyment is based on his involvement with people. He views work as a form of recreation. He feels fortunate that he has always had good people to work for and to work beside. He said that for him, "work is like life--it means involvement with your fellow man." He added that he gains self satisfaction from work if what he has done is a success.

Mr. C's views concerning the influence of his career on his life are consistent with the continuity theory's concept that a lifelong experience can create certain pre dispositions for social behavior in older age. Through his work Mr. C expresses a sense of self that is ageless, an identity that maintains continuity despite the physical and social changes that come with aging.

Following the loss of his spouse, and the brief intense mourning period, Mr. C's reentry into his social world of career and friends can be described as using internal continuity as a coping mechanism. His work afforded a familiar environment and familiar people. His life course had definitely changed; however, work meant that new life experiences could occur against a solid backdrop of familiar interactions.

Retirement as a Life Event

How will Mr. C's heavy dependence on his career as a large part of happiness and meaning in his life affect his next life transition, retirement, since he is very near the average retirement age now? He said that he ha, understandably, mixed emotions regarding retirement, and that he is almost afraid to retire because it is an unknown, yet he has been making plans for post retirement activities. He wants to travel, re-visit places that he has not been to in years, and visit long-time friends he hasn't seen in years. A central theme of his life, love for fellow humans, pulses steadily through the prospect of retirement. That same love for people, I believe, is what makes him hesitant to leave the labor force. He does not wish to break social ties with the people in his career network, particularly now that his wife, and lifelong companion, is gone. He fears living in isolation, and growing old alone.

Mr.C's attitude towards retirement does not fall into the category of positive attitudes generally found among older adults as reported in studies quoted in Atchley's text (p. 246). Atchley further contends that the only exception to this generally very positive attitude are those with expected retirement income needs. This is not the reason for Mr. C's anxiety because because he is well prepared financially for his retirement anxiety is not financial insecurity, but rather fear of dropping out of a social network.

Religion and Continuity

Mr.C is a spiritual person who attends religious services regularly at the Catholic church where he, and formerly his wife, has been a member for many years. Familiarity with "church life" came early for Mr. C in the rural North Carolina town of his upbringing. He recalls that there was very little participation in social activities in the small town other than gathering every Sunday at the local Baptist church. Mr. C's father would arrive at the church grounds every Sunday far in advance of his family and the remainder of the congregation to open up their place of worship, start wood fires for heat, and assist with other preparations for Sunday service. Growing up, church was "a given," he told me, and as soon as he left home as a young adult religion faded from his life until he met his wife, whom he credits with inspiring him to rediscover religion as an institution, and to discover for the first time the true meaning of spiritual faith. Mrs. C was a devout Catholic and Mr. C would attend services with her because he loved her and wanted to make her happy. Eventually, Mr. C studied and converted to Catholicism. He said, "I became a Catholic for her, at first, but it turned out to be for me. I really found Christ through Catholicism. It's the best thing I ever did in my life."

According to Atchley (1997), early life socialization emphasizes learning religious world views, beliefs, and practices (p. 302). This seems to be true for Mr. C in that the inner beginnings of his life theme, love of people, came from religious exposure because the church taught him to love his brothers and sisters, all the children of God. His choice of marriage partner was influenced by religion, although he did not know it at the time. He said that one quality that attracted him to her was her quiet inner strength that he later realized came from he personal spiritual faith.

Atchley (1997) claims that an effect of religion on elderly people is to provide social support and a sense of belonging (p. 308). The social support network within the church can be helpful for an individual who is coping with grief. Mr. C believes his religious involvement was instrumental to his mental health and his ability to cope with grief during the month's following his wife's death. Spiritual faith rides alongside a lifelong career to further support the theory of continuity for adapting to life changes in old age for Mr. C. They each provide familiar social interactions and social support.

On the singular issue of religiosity, my impression is that Mr. C's faith is deeply embedded in his everyday existence and has become more important to him in widowhood. His faith is also very personal; therefore, he tends to refrain from aggressively preaching his beliefs to others. His quiet faith is the reason I have combined love of God with love of people and love for life as his central life theme, rather than choosing religious faith only. I believe that his love of people and zest for life are more prevalent, yet sprung from a Godly center.

Conclusion

When asking his opinion regarding the overall assessment of his life experiences, Mr. C offered me sound advice along with meaningful thoughts from his personal philosophy on "how to get along in this world," He believes that an individual must be able to balance family with work; that self-satisfaction in what one has accomplished is a mark of success; that respect is of utmost importance of life-- respect for others and self-respect--and that people must always be honest with themselves. On the topic of aging Mr. C gave me this advice:

If you age properly you will never grow old. Aging is realizing that you are getting physically older, and you must learn to do more mentally than before.

When I asked what , for him, was the hardest thing about growing older he answered immediately, saying that the hardest part is looking in the mirror and admitting that you can't do the things you used to do, admitting to yourself that you are growing old. He followed this with a positive statement that the best thing about aging is being secure that you have had a successful life so far, and that you continue to set goals. He said that aging successfully, "is not about financial security. It's about knowing who you are," After a moment of contemplation he added, "If you can age without fear, you have aged successfully."

The outcome of Mr. C's internal adaptive process has been, and continues to be, very effective because, in my opinion, he has a high degree of life satisfaction, both past and present, finds meaning in life, remains autonomous, and maintains a personal sense of life meaning. His external adaptation seems to be equally effective, evidenced by maintaining, and even increasing, the quality and quantity of social ties, and receiving rewards for social participation.

Mr. C fits into Garfein and Herzog's category of "robust aging" in terms of elders for whom aging is experienced as a continuation (another boost for a continuity theory) of good physical health, psychological well-being, cognitive competence, and productivity (Atchley, 1997, p. 177). Although I have had the pleasure of knowing him only a short time through brief one-on-one discussions and a few Jaguar games, it is my prediction and my sincere hope that Mr. C will continue his successful journey through the life course for many years. It is also my sincere hope that I will share in his journey, and that that my recently acquired knowledge of social gerontology will help us both to understand changes along the way.

My interview experience was wholly enlightening and notably pleasant. It certainly helps to be able to talk with someone who is thoughtful, articulate, and eager to share his life experiences, personal beliefs and values. Mr. C was largely responsible for setting me at ease for making the interview experiences successful and meaningful. Near the close of out third session I mustered up my warmest smile and asked him at this point in his life what he looks forward to now, to which he replied, "each day."

Atchley, R. (1997). Social forces and aging. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing.

Brown, A. (1991). The social process of aging and old age. New Jersey: Prentice Hall.