EXPRESSIONS
- How to survive a horror movie
- Carell's sincere side makes 'Dan' a real-life success Robert Orndoff
- Churches celebrate Halloween's 'light side' Sue Nowicki
- Tips for surviving the upcoming flu season unscathed Madeleine Marr
- Intramural athletes compete in low-pressure environment Laurel Wright
- State mandates evolution in classroom Leslie Postal
- Ospreys abroad share tips on protecting nest-eggs
- Feeding the homeless
- Social lives, major changes Jessican Medina
- Oddball Antics Mike Pinree
How to survive a horror movie
Slashers
Compiled by Matt Coleman.
Just say no-
Abstinence is the key to surviving any good slasher flick. Don't imbibe, inject, snort, shoot or huff any substance unless you'd like a machete to the cranium.
The same goes for sexual relations. If you and your significant other are feeling randy, do everything in your power to avoid the urge to copulate. Just ask Kevin Bacon's character from the first "Friday the 13th" film. He received an arrow through the jugular for his trouble.
If you follow these instructions, you'll be less likely to find yourself pantless, staring down the business end of a slasher's weapon of choice. Nancy Reagan would
be proud.
Avoid the shower-
You're standing there naked, eyes closed, singing horribly off key when you feel the distinct sensation of being impaled with an icepick. Taking a shower is one of the worst positions to be found in when a slasher is on the loose. There's no escape, you're unclothed, and the bathroom tile is slippery.
The only thing worse is the sight of your nude corpse lying at the bottom of the tub, mouth agape in the midst of hitting an F-sharp.
Try taking a birdbath. You might smell worse than your horror movie companions, but you're likely to get more screen time.
Make sure the killer is dead-
You've made it to the end of the film, and you stand victorious before the broken body of the fallen slasher. Don't drop your weapon and turn around. Curb stomp the maniac until you know he isn't
getting back up.
It might sound callous, but he just decapitated most of your social circle. The least you can do is return the favor.
Slashers have this annoying habit of coming back from the dead, especially if there are sequels to be made. Make sure your movie franchise ends before the 23rd incarnation by putting a boot to the killer's masked face.
Zombies
Compiled by Robert Orndoff.
When it comes to zombies, brains are the name of the game. You have them. They want them. So unless you would like a rotting, former member of the human race biting down on your noggin, use it to survive the next zombie outbreak.
The average speed of zombies has increased drastically in the last five years. Most zombies that have both legs can now outrun the average human. This means that before anything else, you need motorized transportation.
There will be plenty of time to find a place to hole up later, but there are safer places to be when your neighbor comes screaming down the street at you with her upper lip torn off and her lower jaw hanging.
Proper weapons are essential. Contrary to popular belief, guns are a no-no. They make their holders loud, overconfident, and eventually harmless when their ammo runs out. Are you going to stop to count how many bullets you have left after witnessing your best friend's innards get slurped up like spaghetti?
A machete, a shovel or a bat is ideal. If dispatching the undead in style is important, a cricket bat is ideal. Just remember to be creative and have fun with it. Anything that can slice or smash is good, but nothing that
impales. Getting your only weapon stuck in the cold mess that used to be your boyfriend's head is not conducive to survival.
Location is most important when deciding on a fortress of solitude. Malls or skyscrapers may seem like a good idea, but everyone else has thought of the same thing. Chances are somebody headed there is already bitten.
The more rural a final destination is, the better. People in these places are already more self sufficient. And with a higher hunting license to people ratio, these individuals might look positively at the latest turn of events.
Access to friends and most normal forms of entertainment will immediately be lost. But just because the human race has been replaced by moaning, undead cannibals doesn't mean there isn't fun to be had. Make a game out of the situation. See how many zombies can be dispatched with just one swing, and then try to break that record.
Creatures
Compiled by Ross Brooks.
Vampires, werewolves and mummies were horror icons in the silent film era, and they continue to murder people on the big screen today. Should you find yourself cornered by one, or all, of these classic creatures, here's a few tips for escaping intact.
Vampires- Constantly reinvented, vampires have transformed from decrepit Nosferatu's to cultured and well traveled undead in the Anne Rice novels, and finally into the rave-loving, ecstasy-popping blood suckers of films like "Blade" and "Underworld." Intelligent, crafty, and with a taste for the dramatic, this creature is hard to combat. Your best bet? Quickly fashion a stake from a chair leg, or convince your fanged opponent that you too would make a great vampire. Hey, it beats eternity in a grave.
Werewolves- While werewolf attacks have suffered a severe decrease on the big screen, remain vigilant for tell-tale signs of an outbreak: explosive hair growth, an increase in red meat intake and marked improvement in sports(see "Teen Wolf"). If cornered by a werewolf, reach for the biggest piece of meat you can find in hopes of distracting him. If that doesn't work, turn to flee while administering a push to your friend's backside. The werewolf's animal instincts will naturally lead him to the easiest prey.
Mummies- Another favorite of the silent-film era, this shuffling heap of bones and Ace bandages should prove little trouble for today's youth. Ladies, grab one of the many alcohol or aerosol based products in your purse and a lighter. Spray your can through the flame at the mummy, and the walking torch will light up like a bonfire. Out of spite, grab some hot dogs and have an old-fashioned weenie roast to remind the mummy not to mess with the United States!
BEST HORROR
Matt's pick: "The Shining"
Ross' pick: "The Exorcist"
Robert's pick: "Alien"
WORST HORROR
Matt's pick: "Cabin Fever"
Ross' pick: "The Mangler 2"
Robert's pick: "Ghosts of Mars"
HORROR WE LOVE TO HATE
Matt's pick: "Troll 2"
Ross' pick: "Jack Frost"
Robert's pick: "Leprechaun 4: In Space"
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Carell's sincere side makes 'Dan' a real-life success
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A widower with three children, Carell balances comedy with drama in this slice-of-life film. |
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Good: Steve Carell is funny and so much more. |
All of Steve Carell's successes have been based solely on his ability to make people laugh - until now.
In the film "Dan in Real Life," Carell elicits as many laughs as usual, but digs deeper as well, stirring real emotions in the hearts of audience members.
"Dan in Real Life" is a simple story. It focuses on the plight of a widower father of three during a family reunion and takes place over the course of a few days.
As a father, he is having trouble raising three daughters (two of which are teenagers).
As a widower, he is, of
course, lonely.
The plot twist here is that while picking up supplies for himself and his extended family he meets and falls for a woman.
When he gets back to the cabin where his family stays he sees her again - in the arms of
his brother.
This is a hilarious and at times sad situation. Carell knows which belongs where, and even manages to pull off both at the same time in several scenes.
This goes beyond what a mere comedian in a movie is capable of, and even what many of Hollywood's greatest actors
can do.
It requires a rare talent: the ability to force laughter, but also to guide emotions. Carell does this masterfully, writing whole sentences with his bodily
expressions and well-performed dialogue, then punctuating it with a carefully timed reaction that never fails to get laughs from the audience.
Like real life, Carell's character is not perfect. By the end of the film he acts less mature than his teenage daughters.
But he is human, and he is hurt, and it takes him time to realize
his mistakes.
Carell does not have to show this all on his own, though. He has the necessary help from a great supporting cast, most of them unknowns with a few key roles filled by familiar faces.
Carell's brother is played well by Dane Cook, back where he is suited in a supporting role.
Juliette Binoche plays Carell's love interest. And John Mahoney, the father from "Frasier," plays Carell's wise and wisecracking dad.The movie is also aided by a well-written, honest script that does the movie's title justice.
This story is very much like real life.
It is not a pure comedy that writes its reality around the ability to fit as many jokes in as possible.
It is not a pure drama that pulls on heart strings just to pull on them.
In reality, life is both ups and downs, and this story reflects that.
Contact Robert Orndoff at features@unfspinnaker.com -- PERMALINK -- TOP OF PAGE
Churches celebrate Halloween's 'light side'
Halloween. The name comes from an early Christian festival Nov. 1 - All Hallowmas or All Saints Day - and thus, the night before is Hallow's Eve or Hallow E'en, as it's called in Ireland.
Like some other holidays, this one contains a mix of Christian and pagan rituals, marking the end of the harvest season and the initiation of winter.
But unlike other holidays, this one draws the ire of many evangelical Christians because of the overwhelming emphasis on costumes of witches, ghouls, ghosts, bloody and violent masks and other fierce characters.
There is much conflicting evidence about how the holiday and traditions such as bobbing for apples got started, and even erroneous literature spread by some Christian groups.
In a Dec. 29, 2006, online article by Dennis Rupert, pastor of New Life Community Church of Stafford, Va., he states, "Contrary to Christian criticism from many sources, Halloween did not originate as a satanic festival. ... Halloween's association with satanic worship is a modern phenomenon." (www.new-life.net/halowen1.htm)
He said pranks on Halloween date to the late 1800s and that by the 1920s, those pranks had turned into destruction of property and cruelty to animals.
So neighborhood committees and organizations such as the Boy Scouts "mobilized to organize safe and fun alternatives to vandalism."
This resulted in the "trick or treat" greeting and costumed children who became more common in the late 1930s.
And it's mostly an American tradition-you won't find nearly as much turnout for Halloween in England as you will for the bonfires of Guy Fawkes Day Nov. 6, and in that country, costumes are often what you put together from items in your closet.
In the United States, it is definitely big business today, with costumes for adults on the rise. BIGresearch found that consumers spent $4.96 billion on Halloween-related goods in 2006, up significantly from $3.29 billion the previous year.
Many churches now offer their own Halloween alternatives, often called harvest or fall festivals.
Cake walks, apple bobbing, bounce houses and "friendly" costumes of animals, princesses and superheroes replace scary haunted houses and the danger of tainted treats from strangers' homes.
Lisa Demont, coordinator of the Trunk-or-Treat event at Big Valley Grace Community Church in Modesto, Calif., said, "It's a safe, fun environment for the family. It's a way that the kids can come to a safe environment to
celebrate Jesus."
Rita Hearne, children's ministry director at Modesto Covenant Church, is in charge of her church's Fall Festival, which usually attracts between 300 and
400 children.
"It's an outreach to the community as a safe alternative to Halloween," she said. "Kids can come and have fun and be safe and get lots of candy.
"It's also a time we can celebrate the beauty of fall. It gives kids the chance to dress up and pretend, but we ask them to stay in the light and not go to the dark side. We want this to be a family-friendly atmosphere where children can come and not be scared," Hearne said.
"Years ago, parents were having to examine their kids' candy.," she said.
"They can be assured everything the kids get is going to be great. We control that."
Most harvest festivals are free, sometimes with a small charge for games or dinner.
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Tips for surviving the upcoming flu season unscathed
Flu season generally begins in November and lasts through March.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, every year in the United States, on average, 5 percent to 20 percent of the population gets the highly contagious virus; more than 200,000 people are hospitalized because of complications; about 36,000
people die.
Think about getting a flu shot, available at most doctors' offices, pharmacies or your workplace
this month.
As many as 132 million doses of the vaccine are available, compared with 115 million doses last year.
A nasal spray vaccine, FluMist, has been
approved for ages 5-49. Find out locations at
www.flucliniclocator.org.
Having influenza is no fun. It spreads through the upper respiratory tract and sometimes invades the lungs.
Symptoms include moderate to high fever, sore throat, muscle pains, severe headache, coughing, congestion and general malaise.
The condition can last up to two weeks.Who's most at risk?
The government recommends a flu shot for kids aged 6 months to 5 years, pregnant women, people 50 and older or living in nursing homes.
Those with chronic conditions such as congestive heart failure, asthma or diabetes should also consider getting a flu shot.
Typically, influenza germs are airborne, so stay clear of people who are coughing or sneezing (or even talking).
Keep a pocket hand sanitizer like Purell close by. and use it frequently.
Nasty microbes can also be transmitted by saliva, mucus, feces and blood.
A person is contagious for up to seven days after the onset of illness.
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Intramural athletes compete in low-pressure environment
Intramural sports at the University of North Florida provide students with more than a chance to stay active - they also give students an opportunity to learn new sports, compete, and spend time
with friends.
Each semester, a variety of intramural sports are offered.
Currently flag football and sand volleyball are in season, and spring will bring basketball, flag football, indoor soccer
and softball.
In addition to these seasonal sports, the Department of Campus Recreation offers one-day events for those who are interested in other sports or may not have the time to compete seasonally.
The next one-day tournament is racquetball Nov. 9.
"It's a way to stay occupied," said freshman biology major Brittany McNamee. She plays on a female intramural flag football team with a group
of friends.
Flag football is the most popular intramural sport among UNF students, said Intramural Coordinator Justin Cato.
He said its popularity has picked up tremendously in recent years.
"Three or four years ago, we would be lucky to have 50 teams," he said. "This year, we have 95."
Five flag football teams went to the University of Florida this year to participate in a Swamp Bowl tournament.
One team made it to the quarterfinals in the men's division.
Another team, UNF Swoop, went to the national flag football tournament last year.
Cato said while some teams come out with the aim to participate in larger tournaments, not everyone who plays has to be prepared to
compete nationally.
"Some just come out to have fun and play,"
he said.
Molly Mieras, a junior physical education major, also plays on a women's intramural flag football team.
Her team had never practiced before winning its first game 20-0.
She said the reason she chose football is because it was the only sport she's good at.
"It's fun to be able to compete and throw the ball around with my friends," Mieras said.
Last year about 2,500 students played intramurals, Cato said.
He said students don't necessarily have to know how to play sports to become involved.
"The biggest thing I can suggest is to show up to the captains' meeting where you will learn all about the sport," he said.
Any registered student or full-time faculty can play intramurals.
Games are usually played on evenings Sunday through Thursday.
One-day events are typically on Fridays.
A complete list contaning rules, requirements and dates can be found http://www.unf.edu/recsports/intramurals.htm.
Intramurals offered on campus
Fall Team Sports
- Volleyball
- Soccer
- 7-on-7 flag footall (men's, women's and coed)
- Sand volleyball (men's, women's and coed)
Fall one day events
- Walleyball
- Basketball
- Mini triathalon
- Racquetball (men's and women's)
Spring Team Sports
- Basketball
- Indoor soccer
- Coed softball
- 4-on-4 flag football (men's, women's and coed)
Spring one day events
- Tennis(men's and women's)
- Dodgeball
- Three point and free throw (men's and women's)
Contact Laurel Wright at features@unfspinnaker.com -- PERMALINK -- TOP OF PAGE
State mandates evolution in classroom
Florida has written new standards for teaching science that for the first time say public-school students need to learn
about evolution.
The proposed science standards, released Friday, call evolution one of the "big ideas" that must be taught as part of in-depth, hands-on learning.Florida's plan is part of a larger push to improve science education.
Current standards do not use the word evolution - long a controversial word in education - but do require teaching evolutionary concepts in public schools.
The Thomas B. Fordham Institute in a 2005 report gave Florida an F for its current science standards, saying they were "sorely lacking in content," "thin" and "nebulous." In particular, the report criticized the "superficiality of the treatment of evolutionary biology."
A group of teachers, professors and others started rewriting the science standards in May, aiming to beef up learning in a state where fewer than half of its students are proficient in the state's science tests.
"If we want to be competitive in the world, we have to do this," said Susan Brennan, a Seminole High chemistry teacher in Sanford, Fla., who helped write the new standards.The revisions aim to give more-concise directions to teachers and more-engaging information to students.
The public has 60 days to comment on the changes. Then they go to the State Board of Education as early as January for approval.
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Ospreys abroad share tips on protecting nest-eggs
International travel and study abroad take University of North Florida students all over the world. But what's the best way to handle money when you're thinking about such an excursion?
Students abroad share tips with the
Spinnaker about how to save money
while traveling.
What is the best way to save money when booking airfare?
"It is best to fly solo. I didn't go on the group flight, which would have been more expensive, and I booked it three weeks in advance. The earlier, the better."
Colleen Herms, senior, Spanish major, studying in Spain.
"If you are studying in Europe, the best airline to fly is Ryanair - it is by far the cheapest. The only problem is that the luggage weight limit is only 30 pounds."
Sue Swartz, senior, business major, studying in Spain.
"Ryanair gives great discounts. I would also advise people to get a credit card that gains travel points."
James Fernandez, junior, business major, studying in Sweden.
What were some companies you used to book tours and events while studying abroad?
"I am studying through the University Studies Abroad Consortium. Being a student here, I also got to play rugby for free. They have to pay $150 in order to play in the games, but the fee was waived for me because I am only here for a semester."
Colleen Herms, senior, Spanish major, studying in Spain.
"Freetour.com was excellent. I used it in Madrid and was able to see the city with a free tour guide."
Desiree Fortune, senior, political science major, studying in Morocco.
"SJ [Sveriges JŠrnvŠg] is a train carrier. It's cheap. Also, to travel by rail on a long trip, you can get passes that let you travel anywhere in Europe for one set price, no matter the destination or time."
James Fernandez, junior, business major, studying in Sweden.
What did you do to find a good deal on food or
dining?
"Eat at home as often as possible. Go to local markets instead of grocery stores, because they have the best deals on produce and meats. Plus, it's always fresh."
Jose Sanchez, senior, international business major, studying in Spain.
"I have been eating the local food around campus. They have McDonald's, but eating the local cuisine saves more money."
Steve Henin, senior, political science major, studying in China.
"I just made sure to calculate the money I brought
to be able to set aside about $200 per week to spend
on food and other expenses."
Mary Tow, junior, sociology major, studying
in England.
In general, what is your best money-saving tip?
"Keep track of what you buy by keeping a log of everything that you spend money on, and note to yourself what unnecessary expenses you are making."
Mary Tow, junior, sociology major, studying in England.
"Take a bus instead of a taxi. A bus costs about 1 yuan [about 13 cents], while a taxi can cost anywhere from 8-25 yuan [$1.04-$3.25]."
Steve Henin, senior, political science major, studying in China.
"Tours are expensive. The best and cheapest way to go is to talk to some local people. Ask them where you should travel around the region where you are staying. Asking locals gives you a deeper experience that the tours can't provide. Granted, it can make you a bit nervous trying to figure out where you are what you're really doing, but that makes for a much better experience in the end."
Colleen Herms, senior, Spanish major, studying
in Spain.
Contact Alissa LaGesse at features_staff@unfspinnaker.com -- PERMALINK -- TOP OF PAGE
Feeding the homeless
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University of North Florida psychology students are holding the seventh annual Thanksgiving canned food drive for needy families in the Head Start program. Students can put donations in bins located in Building 51 through Nov. 14. |
Social lives, major changes
Just Ask Jess
Dear Jess,
This is my first year at the University of North Florida, and I didn't have any idea how much work it was going to be. I like going out with my friends and having fun, but I just don't know how to handle all of my schoolwork and my social life. How can I balance it all?
Out of Balance
Dear Out of Balance,
It's time for a priority check. You came to UNF to go to school and get a degree, not for a social life. I'm not saying you shouldn't have a social life, but it should come after school.
The key to being balanced is organization. Get a datebook to keep track of when papers are due and when you have tests. That way, you can start studying and working on your projects earlier.
When you plan ahead, you will find that you not only have more time for yourself, but you will have more time to spend with your friends as well.
Jess
Dear Jess,
I'm a biology major, but I'm beginning to feel like biology is not the field for me. I'm taking a history class right now and
love it.
I want to continue to study history, but I'm afraid to change my major.
I don't want to stay in college longer than I have to. What should I do?
Major Change
Dear Major Change,
The time you spend in college is a short period when you bring into perspective all the years you will spend in your future career.
Sure, you will be in college a little bit longer than you planned, but it's worth it to ensure you will be happy in your future career.
I'm going to have to rely on an old clichŽ for this one: Go with your heart. If you know you will be happier studying history than biology, you should do it.
Just think of all the wonderful careers you can go into with a history degree, too. You can go into law, politics, teaching or anthropology, just to name a few.
You have many opportunities to look forward to.
Jess
If you have a question for Jess, please send an e-mail to features_staff@unfspinnaker.com -- PERMALINK -- TOP OF PAGE
Oddball Antics
Honey, are you sure you're telling me everything?
A woman hit the Florida lottery for $28.5 million but failed to mention this to her estranged husband, from whom she had been separated for five years.
She immediately went to court and obtained a quickie divorce - asking for no alimony or child
support - so she wouldn't have to share the money with him. Court proceedings ensued when he found out about it.
He was very short, and I believe his name was Seamus
A man who had gone on a drug binge was caught sleeping in a parked car in Cincinnati. He told police who arrested him that a leprechaun had let him into the vehicle.
Now that you mention it, he did seem a bit more passionate than usual
A 40-year-old wife in Terengganu, Malaysia, had sexual relations in the dead of night with a man who was staying at their house.
But when her husband came home and saw the other man leaving the bedroom, the woman filed charges against the houseguest, saying she had mistaken him for her hubby. Police found her story "strange," and said they "are a bit suspicious of her claims."
Officer, it was awful ... What TV cameras?
A store supervisor in Edinburgh, Scotland, stole money from the safe and had his friend beat him up so it would look like a robbery. Alas, he forgot to turn off the store's closed-circuit TV cameras before he did it.
Anything to say for yourself now, bub?
A 21-year-old man charged with drunk driving in Minden, Nev., was released after he promised the judge that he would not drink another beer or drive. A short time later, he was caught drinking a 12-pack of beer on the courthouse lawn.
Now she's really mad
Suspecting her husband of infidelity, a woman in Brookline, Pa., endeavored to catch him in the act.
When she saw his SUV parked in front of the home of the woman she suspected was his girlfriend, she crawled under the vehicle and waited. Unfortunately, she fell asleep, and someone came along and let the air out of the tires, trapping her underneath. A rescue crew freed her.
Oh, that's not mine
A man, who was pulled over in Bahrain for a driving offense, gave the police officer his license, before realizing that a piece of hashish was stuck to it.
When she says rust, she means rust
A woman who ordered rust-colored hydrangeas for her New York City wedding was more than a little peeved when the florist provided pink hydrangeas instead. Citing "extreme disappointment, distress and embarrassment," the bride is suing for $400,000.
First gear ... Chug, chug ... Second gear ... Chug, chug
A construction worker in Limbach-Oberfrohna, Germany, got hungry while on the job, so he went into a supermarket and stole a two-pound package of cheese.
A store detective saw him do it and gave chase. The man tried to make his getaway in a cement mixer. He didn't get far.
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