Eason Jordan, former chief news executive of CNN, was strung up this week for some off-the-record musings. Allegedly some guy overheard him saying something that was considered Against Our Troops. No actual evidence was needed. Hearsay was enough for any red-blooded patriot. Never mind the Peabody, duPont or Emmy awards — Jordan might have been saying something un-American.

Within 24 hours, the wrath of a few bloggers and their loyal disciples had beaten Jordan to his knees.

“Screw you and everything you’ve ever done for journalism,” the angry conservative hordes were saying. “We suspect you of un-American activities, and for that you must hang!”

I was lifted up by the name Jeff Gannon (real name: James Guckert).

A little while ago, there were rumors about such a man. The content was hardly surprising. Some no-name with credentials was asking the president fluff questions. Hey, who doesn’t want a copout question when reporters start asking real ones? I let it pass, assuming it would be just one more page in Bush’s history of paying people to pretend to be reporters.

Around the same time Jordan was consumed by the angry conservative hordes, a Web designer named Paul Leddy recognized Gannon’s face on the news. Gannon had paid him to build him a few Web sites that offered certain services for money.

What kind, you ask? According to Jeff’s Web site, you can find out for $200 an hour. He promises an “AGGRESIVE, VERBAL, DOMINANT TOP... I DON’T LEAVE MARKS....ONLY IMPRESSIONS.”

Why does a man like Jordan get lynched for something he might have said and gay prostitutes get to run free in the White House? Where were the angry conservative hordes? Better yet: Why were these angry conservative hordes that lynched an actual journalist over hearsay suddenly worried about Gannon’s privacy?

I have nothing wrong with gay people — or prostitutes, for that matter. I do have a problem, however, with the GOP paying a shill to fluff a president who is antigay and promilitary when that shill happens to be a gay prostitute whose theme is “marine drill sergeant” and who puts himself on the Internet as such.

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd has been unable to get a press pass to the White House since Bush took office, but this gay prostitute assuming a fake name has been welcome for three years! The Secret Service does lengthy background checks on these people and screens reporters on a regular basis. How did this guy get such a sweet deal while Jordan got fired?

It’s a question we should all be asking.

This man had access to the highest echelons of our government, and just look at him! Someone knew about it and allowed it to happen. Thankfully, the actual journalists are starting to smell blood in the water

Let’s all hope for a full-blown scandal in the meantime — and for the love of God, Mr. President, screen your double standards more carefully.

Contact Taryn Fivek at uspinnak@unf.edu.