Minutes
UNF – CDRC Parent
Organization
The meeting was called to order by Jessica Ottie at
Parent Organization Meeting
Members began the meeting with a discussion about planning the date for the Magnet School presentation and our next meeting. Please note the following dates:
Magnet Presentation
Parent Organization
Meeting
Please note that the Magnet Fair for this year will be held
on
Pam said she would like the Magnet Presentation opened to the community for all to attend. She will put the Magnet Presentation on Campus Update.
There will not be a family event for January since we have the Magnet Presentation.
We discussed the December Family Event. JMOMA & Cummer are not doing anything
holiday oriented. We decided that
December’s Family Event will occur on
Teresa will look into events sponsored by the Southside
Library as a possible site for a family event in spring. Teresa will check to see if they have a game
night like the
Fundraising
Hope Food Fundraiser
We will be collecting food for Hope during the holiday
season. We will be encouraging families
to please donate food to the needy.
T-Shirt
Jessica reported that the flyers for selling the t-shirts are done and will be hung around the center.
Ollie Koala Night
Jessica spoke to Ollie Koala’s about fundraising for the
center. We choose a day that we would
like to do a fundraiser. The fundraiser
will last all day and we will earn 15% from the sales of that day. The only thing parents need to do is to
inform the staff at Ollie Koala’s they are supporting CDRC. Parents will have
to go to the booth and get tokens/reload their cards their rather than at the
machines. Also, any food sales will be
included so long as the parents inform the staff when they make the purchase
that they are part of the CDRC group fundraiser. Parents decided that Ollie Koala Night would
occur on
We will announce Ollie Koala Night at the January Parent Meeting as well as the Magnet Presentation.
Conscious Discipline
Pam reviewed the steps that have been covered thus far:
· Principle 1 – Know your child
· Principle 2 – Know what is normal
· Principle 3 – Adults are accountable as models
· Principle 4 – Adults must maintain control
Tonight discussion will cover:
· Principle 5 – Adults must see the world from the child’s point of view
January’s meeting will cover:
· Principle 6 – Adults must speak clearly and assertively to children
We began the session with an I Love You Ritual.
Pam played a song called Georgie Porgie and had parents act out the song.
“Georgie Porgie
Puddin’ pie
Georgie gave his friend a hi-5
With his friends he loves to play
The gift we’re giving is a smile”
We set examples for our children. We show them what we want. We can show children how to give. They give when they play, when they handshake, when they smile. We look to make positive impact by showing how to give and be positive. In the classrooms, the teachers are implementing tools to help children know how to do something positive. For example, Ms. Nancy has the positive caterpillar. When someone does something nice, it is written down on the positive caterpillar for all to see. We do not want to approach children negatively by lecturing all the time. It does not show them postiviely what to do.
We teach kids how to identify their feelings and tell them how to act appropriately. Help the child find words for their feelings. Creating a feeling of safety and success in the child leads to good behavior. Don’t ask children rhetorical questions. Instead ask “How can I help you? “ or give them some direction. Help them feel successful.
Parents should maintain control instead of losing it. Practice STAR – an acronym for:
S – Smile
T – Take a deep breath
A – And
R – Relax
The children in the center have taken to this method and often tell each other or the teachers to be a STAR.
Adults must see the world from the child’s view:
We have to understand if the child is looking for understanding or for information.
|
Information ? |
Understanding? |
|
Calm Direct Rational In control Curious Interested |
Emotional Whining Irrational Out of control Withdrawn Overwhelmed |
Is the child looking for information or understanding?
1. - A preschooler is crying about when it will be her turn to ride the treasured red tricycle on the playground. “When is it my turn?” --- the child is seeking understanding; reassure the child that he/she will have a turn
2. A kindergartner is tying his shoes. He looks at you and calmly states, “I can’t make a bow.” – he is looking for information; ask if he would like some help in learning how to tie a bow.
3. A school-ager is crying to her mother that no one wants to be her friend. “No one will play with me at recess.” - the child is looking for understanding. Sympathize with the child and ask them if they would like to learn some new ways to make friends.
The key is to understand what state the child is in. Listen to the upset and determine if the child is in his or her limbic (back of the brain – out of control state) choking on emotion or is the child somewhat rational (front of the brain) and capable of solving his or her own problems with a little more information.
Try to understand what exactly the child is looking for. For example: A new child at day care is inconsolable and wants her mommy. She cries “ When is mommy coming?” Does she want information or understanding?
If you listen to her words, you discern that she is not interested in mommy’s schedule, but instead misses her mommy. Saying to the child, “I know you miss your mommy, “ validates the child’s feelings, makes her feel understood and is more likely to bring an end to the tears than a terse, “Mommy will be back after nap time. “
Similarly, a teenager complaining about homework is probably a lot more interested in compassion than in nagging about the importance of grades.
Two states of being:
1. extending love
2. calling for love
What are adult behaviors for extending and calling for love?
· Extending love – might be patience with a spouse/child, bringing home a treat, hugging, petting the dog, listening to others
· Calling for love – might be driving too fast, drinking too much, cursing, ignoring, resisting affection
How do two states of being translate to children? What behaviors do children exhibit in the two states?
· Extending love – helping, sharing, waiting, smiling, chattering or showing affection
· Calling for love – hitting, biting, tattling, throwing tantrums, showing defiance.
The happy child will look at the world as full of resources with plenty to go around.
The hurting child will see a world with limited resources he must fight to get his piece.
Add words to their experience to help them.
For example “Oh, you seem really angry that he took the truck.”
When a child is calling for love, they are calling for help.
When a child is trying to convey their feelings to you, don’t shoot them down.
Example: When a child yells, “You’re an idiot!” because you insist the television show is inappropriate and must be changed. You have a choice:
1. You can shoot the messenger saying something like “Don’t you dare talk to me like that! Go to your room!”
2. Or you can take a breath and say “You are angry. You wanted to watch that show, “ then take a step further saying “But it is not okey to call me hurting names.” This allows you to get the child’s message (feeling angry and frustrated) and see the situation from his or her point of view (wanting to watch that show), but not get sucked in to feeling how he or she feels.
We can communicate in two ways
· We can act our feelings, getting others to feel the way we fee.
· Or we can express our feelings with such statements as , “I feel scared I might not get that job,” or “I feel frustrated that my hard work is not being recognized.”
AS adults we recognize these choices. Children do not recognize these choices. The act out their feelings, and we label them so later in life thay can express them with words. We help the children find the words to express their feelings.